Saturday, July 3, 2010
The hard work of marriage...
I wanted to share a quote I found in the May issue of Good Housekeeping... in the last of the re-cycled magazines I brought home from Mom and Dad Fitzgerald's house a few weeks ago.
The magazine is celebrating its 125th anniversary this year and every issue has been dedicated to how the publication has shaped the lives of women. This issue was the big issue and included the 125 women who changed the world's landscape in some way and an interview with First Lady Michelle Obama.
It was in the Obama interview that I found a quote I wanted to share here. The story is an overall interview, but it's what she said about the importance of understanding that marriage is more than just a big ceremony. It's the work afterward that either makes or breaks you as a couple and it is something every couple goes through.
I look at my own marriage and I know there are things I could do better and praises I could give more often. There are free moments with Pat that I could take, but I check my email instead and days when I let his teasing get under my skin a little too much.
Then I read something like this and it makes me realize everyone who is married goes through the same things. Situations might be different, but every person who has been in a relationship has worried they weren't doing enough or doing too much and wondering where the best balance lies.
We're now facing a new challenge as Pat's job has ended and we'll both be on the job hunt once we return from the beach. This trip, although it doesn't come at the best financial time for us, will probably be our last chance to get away for more than a few days as we hope one of us will be gainfully employed soon.
I'm trying very hard not to let my fears about the future interrupt our excitement about going away for our first family vacation. It has certainly helped that both of us have gotten nibbles on recent jobs we've applied for and hope to have at least one interview set up after we return from vacation.
It's in crisis that couples must come together and work towards a solution that is best for our family. I guess it's why this quote from Michelle Obama spoke to me this morning...
Here is what she said on what people can learn from the Obama's marriage...
"... Marriage is hard work. Even the best of marriages require a lot of hard work - even if you're married to your soul mate who has very few flaws. Building a life with a person other than yourself, and raising kids and dealing with all of the bumps and the bruises and the joys and the pains that go along with life, that creates the natural state of marriage, and it's a challenge.
I say that to people not to discourage them, but to say that you will inevitably hit those bumps. Don't view that as a shortcoming of yourself or your spouse or your marriage. Don't give up on it. Just understand that you're going along the path that everybody else goes on. Go in ready for the work."
I couldn't have said it better myself...